It’s a safe bet that most of us in Michigan like to think of ourselves as kind, generous, and helpful people. Overall we are polite and try to treat others as we would like to be treated.
But there are also the horrible Michiganders.
Ugly Michiganders are the ones who obviously only care about themselves and can’t be bothered with what our elders might call “common courtesy”.
Are you an “awful Michigander”? Here are five ways to tell.
The Michigander who won’t return his cart to Meijer
Few things are more infuriating than those who refuse to hand over their shopping carts to a cart corral in the parking lot.
Common excuses include bad weather (suck it up, you live in Michigan), the distance to the cart corral (nothing compared to how much you just walked the aisles inside Meijer), or “my kids are in the car” (activate the child locks and lock them inside for the 90 seconds it takes you to return the cart). Others may blame personal physical limitations. Then there are those who try to self-apologize for their behavior by telling themselves and everyone listening that they are giving the cart attendant something to do.
Stopped. If you can’t handle being a polite, returning member of society, we live in a time when you don’t even have to go to the store anymore. Order your essentials via app or online and have them delivered. Failure to return your cart makes you a horrible Michigander.
The Michigander that takes up two parking spaces (or more)
When the average Michigander sees a vehicle occupying more than one parking spot, we think of two things: either 1) that person doesn’t know how to park; or 2) that person clearly thinks they are better than everyone else.
If you park the same way as in the photo above, you fall into one of these two categories. If you don’t know how to park in the lines, maybe it’s time to ask yourself if you should be driving this vehicle. If your reason for parking like this is that you don’t want someone else’s car ringing your precious baby, then you either need to park in a very remote space (where no one else is find), or make the choice to buy another daily driver who allows you to respect societal standards.
If you park like that, you’re a terrible Michigander.
The Michigander who yells at people who are just trying to do their job
We’ve all heard stories of flight attendants being mugged and fast food teenagers being reduced to tears by an authorized customer whose order may or may not have been wrong.
Everyone has an occasional bad day. There is no excuse for incivility. No one has the right to take their frustrations out on someone else.
If you’re yelling at someone who’s just trying to do their job, you’re a terrible Michigander.
The Michigander that returns unwanted items to random locations in the store
So you put one item in your cart at Kroger, then a few sections later (or maybe even aisles) you find something else you prefer. Do you put the first item back where you got it? Or do you just leave the unwanted item on a shelf wherever you are when making this decision? There is only one correct answer. No harm in changing your mind. Put it back where you got it.
If you leave your unwanted items in random places in a store, you’re a terrible Michigander.
The Michigander who can’t/won’t say thank you
As you exit Quality Dairy, someone else arrives. Do you hold the door for them? Pleasant! Mom taught you well. Let’s say you walk in and someone else holds the door for you. Do you thank them?
If you allow someone to hold an open door for you but neglect to say a thank you note, you’re an awful Michigander.
How did you do?
Did you pass our impromptu quiz? Are you a good and honest citizen? Great!
Or… did you find yourself making excuses for your behavior? If so, maybe it’s time for some serious soul-searching.
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